Classic Definitions and Cool Meanings

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce : Future tense of marriage

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......!

Work Half Done

Mother Teresa Quotes

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

"One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody"

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one"

Missing Anyone?

Newton’s Third Law

"For every action we do, there is equal and opposite reaction you get"

Trick is you have to rise upto your level best to face the reaction and solve it..

Last Moments

Its not just sunset, it resembles more than that today...

Those wonderful days has gone...

When.. ..
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes!

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating first with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played "book cricket" in the confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies,

Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
in the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When few rushed at 3:45 to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint", "kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
And the most enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learnt,

We enjoyed,

We played,

We won,

We lost,

We laughed,

We cried,

We fought,

We thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days
When we used to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a ‘Hi’!

Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days
When we saw stars Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!

Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!

Gone are the days
Where we studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!
Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don’t shout even at home

Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all...!!

Gone are the days!!!

Versioning System

Wonder what the versioning system of software development means? Read the below given real time example to understand the complex versioning system easily.....

Husband 1.0
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Interested to know what would be the reply to the Desperate?
Continue reading...

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Affection 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

I hope you now better understand what CVS and SVN all about...

India's Indigenous Fighter Aircraft

These are pictures of flight tests performed by India's first indigenous
fighter aircraft called as Tejas(Lab Name: LCA - Light Combat Aircraft).

India's Economic Strength Growing

Much anticipated first quarter results about India's economic growth has been released. Results confirming the wonderfull future for India as whole and for each of its citizens. Read the following news snippet,

"India is closing in on the economic growth rates of more than 10 percent that China has enjoyed, according to government data released Wednesday, showing a 9.3 percent expansion in the first quarter.

The Indian economy grew unexpectedly at its fastest pace in more than two years, according to the year-on- year data for the first three months, as the pace of agricultural expansion nearly doubled to 5.5 percent from 2.9 percent a year earlier."

Main catalyst for this growth - Agriculture: 5.5%

Note: two- thirds of Indians earning their penny out of this agriculture and its related areas.

So next short term stopover plan:
Agriculture must grow at 4, services at 12, manufacturing at 12, in order to achieve 10 percent growth.