Friday, February 29, 2008

Getting Done Two Things By One? Be In Queue

One fine morning a man was leaving a cafe after his morning coffee, when he Noticed a most unusual funeral procession

A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first.

Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of about 2000 men walking in a single line.
The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you,
but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it? "

The man replied,
"Well, that first coffin is for my wife."

"What happened to her? "
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also. "

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"


The man calmly replied "Join the queueeee"

Looking @ Classifieds? Beware! Do Double Check

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

(man....if only I knew A B C....)

2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.

(sure...thanx for the warning!)

3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

(in months or years?)

4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

(check it out)

5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

(howwww sweeeet)

6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

(wow! A free trip to heaven?)

7. Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.


8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)

9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

(nice work!)

Laughing Out Loud!!! Really ROFL!!!

He got to know what actually mean LOL!!! ROFL!!! etc...

Binta's Letter Writing Skills

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

Best regards,
Banta Singh

Quote I Liked

I met money one day. I said, "You are just a piece of paper."

Money smiled and said, "Of course I'm a piece of paper, but I haven't seen a dustbin yet, in my life".

Bucknored? Bensoned? Confused? Get It Clarified

Its still not clearly known who actually is the winner in the ongoing India touring Australia, but few things are certain Umpire Bucknor who is supposed to be walking the middle line has undoubtedly won the news publishers headlines of all the Cricket crazy nations. In addition to that few went to the extent of creating new English words in line with their on field activities in the current tour...

Here are those words and its meaning...

Bucknor: (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.

Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.

(n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.

Also see bucknor

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

My Pet "Tiger"

I went to my home recently to see my new pet dog at home. Though I already have a dog at my home of pomerian breed, the then prevalent situation when I bought it was different, the focus was mostly on a lovable, playful breed. But now the current situation is very different and we need dog of very brave, brisk and true chesty characteristics. For this we zeroed in on a Alsatian breed and we got that breed puppy.

We thought softy "Puppy" (pomerian breed) would easily make up with the small puppy and enjoy playing with this "Tiger"(new puppy's name). But ground reality was damn different and "Puppy" is very reluctant to accept this new predator in home. Just for this cause I decided to make a "Peace Tour' 2008" to do a reconciliation effort between this estranged puppies. I have tried out many different ways to make "Puppy" to adjust with new puppy, but all efforts went into vain. I tried making each other to speak and resolve all conflicts and they did spoke to each other but unfortunately they couldn't end up in any deal and most unfortunate is I couldn't able to understand under what terms they had conducted their talks, I just heard 'vow... vow.... errrrrrrrrr.... vow.......'

Since I don't have much time to stay in home and continue the peace effort since I have lots of work pending back in office, temporarily I have stationed peak keeping blocks in between them until I find a permanent fair, acceptable solution to both of them. Now I'm looking for an international mediator who can effectively manage two ferociously fighting members and understand their basic problems. To better keep the quarrel under control, I have warned them of don't cross the lines otherwise they will invite adverse consequences to the extreme of calling Mr George W Bush to solve the crisis 'amicably' irrespective of whatever organizations like Blue Cross, Menaka Gandhi etc. etc... they appeal.

Here are the few pictures of disturbed neighbors,

Here comes the "Tiger - the great"

It has started nice with a handshake like interviewer but later it started
biting something very similar to interviewers...

Aaahh here come the ferocious "Tiger"

Beautiful look isn't it???

Tiger knows never look back your past so its looking down....

What els you can expect from this cunning world...

A good snap... But whom I have left to rest???

So made it to wake up and play with me...

Hmmmm..... its feeling very sleepy I think.... shortly went to sleep again...

A short video about troubled neighbors...

My Nadar School (NHSS) Friends Gettogether

I was bit surprised and amused to see when one my school mate Nataraj came to my house a month back and even more surprise was in box which came out when he dragged out his marriage invitation card. For a moment I was taken aback and thinking have I grown that much old so that my friends have started getting married? Its really very pathetic to be in this situation. After some fraction of seconds thinking I decided to completely revamp my friends circle so as to have more vibrant and young people of my age. For this I'm studying recent M&A's(Merger & Acquisitions) examples like TATA-Corus, Arcelor-Mittal etc... to get more friends. Lets wait some time and see whether greenfield friends are more profitable or acquisitions are better one....

Keeping this aside, I whole(really????) heartedly accepted the invitation and developed high expectation of meeting all my Nadar school friends. The time has came and last week went to Cuddalore near Pondichery to attend Nataraj's marriage. Though the number of friends who have came to attend was not huge, there was quite handful of people. I reached the hotel around 1AM after the as usual painful bus journey with my friends Karthik and Ganesh who accompanied me from Chennai. I'm seeing Karthik after some 8 years and was at top of the hill to see him. We had full lot of discussions about the school days. In my school he and me come next to one in register, so in all seating arrangements for the exams right from year 1995 to 2000 ie from class VII to Higher Secondary(+2) we used to sit next to one. We had traded thousands of marks each other in those exams and successfully managed to win in toughest papers easily. More interesting fact is that, that was time when land line phones has started its inroad in India and everybody started applying for that and for that a long service queue has been implemented to get the connection. Incidentally and interestingly in both of homes has requested for the telephone line at the same time and we were in same slot of allotment. So we used to keep track of when the phone will be delivered through new paper announcements and share the news among us. And one fine day after getting the connection, I remember we called each other number of times until we finally rested the new-o-phobia over the new telephone connection.

Likewise there were thousands of thousand happenings with all of our friends who were assembled there to attend Nataraj marriage. Though we reached the place at 1AM, a group of 15 friends whom I'm meeting nearly 8 years keep on discussing many things ranging from the playground to teachers to tuitions to etc... etc...

This is the group with whom I used to goto N'(nearly 3) number of tuitions both in evening and morning when we were in our life's most important phase, yes its during my higher secondary school(+2)... And one of the guy here in the below picture called Christo's dad was our tuition master for Chemistry subject and will never forgot or pardon(hee.... he... it doesn't matter to him anway) him for that complain he made against me for not attending his tuitions regularly...

Here are the few pictures that I will cherish forever,

NHSS Friends From L to R:
Palani Kumar, Venkateshwaran, Karthik, Subburaj and Ganeshmoorthy

At Marriage Hall From L to R:
Swami Prasad, Ramakrishnan, Christo Sebastien and Palani Kumar

Marriage stage is being readied by priest..

A good amount of flowers adding really a pleasant look...

My friend Nataraj(in dark brown shirt) performing some kind of customs....
Its minutes before from actual marriage....

A South Indian traditional musical troop...
they perform with Nadashwaram(a long hollow slim pipe) and Kottu(a short closed ended drum... read again its closed ended drum not closed ended equity plan)

Seconds away from the climax scene of tie-up

A final touch....

All are over for Nataraj.. Now his fate is sealed.