Work Excuses

Want to take leave? Try one of these reasons....


I'm calling in with stomach problems, I can't stomach working today.

I cant come into work today.....I have amnesia from when my two year old hit me over the head with his toy... wait I don't have a two year old.....do I?


I can't come to work today, my head hurts and it only hurts when I come to work!


I cant come in today as I have an interview for a job I really want and cannot be bothered to lie, which shows you exactly how much I care about your stinking job anyway.


I can't come in today because I've just realized I actually save money if I stay at home. Apart from the bus fare, the prices in your canteen are outrageous and I always end up drinking at lunchtime to cope with the depression of working for you.


I can't come to work today, my dog gave birth to kittens!


(*Over the Phone*) I won't be able to make it into work because I lost my voice.


I am not late; I am in fact 23 hours early. I did not come in yesterday because of diarrhea, I expect 23 hours of overtime!


I can't come in today because I will kill you if I do.